Essentially, it's a humorous take on what America's stance would be if he was running for president. Or at least, I find it funny.
*It's come to my attention this hasn't been labeled and in an attempt to make people happier, I am going to label it. I'm going to label it as a discussion, since even though it's not directly a discussion, I think the comments have definitely turned into a discussion as what constitutes safe humor or spam. I just want to thank everyone who has made a comment, whether condoning my post or not.
(Read backwards, imagine America announcing them David Letterman style)
10. No more bans on trans fat, so suck it, liberals.
9. Retirement of the old two-party system. Instead of Democrat or Republican, Americans will now call them the Blue Rangers and the Red Rangers.
8. America looks good when he talks in front of a podium.
7. America believes in slowly replacing income taxes with consumption taxes that help bridge the economic gap between the wealthy and the poor, and believes in equalizing school systems with federal redistribution of property taxes. (what?)
6. All citizens will be legally required to learn Japanese.
5. All citizens will be legally required to wear bunny outfits on Independence Day.
4. Every Independence Day celebration will have a new tradition of guessing what the hell England gave to America in his birthday comic.
3. Americans will actually become healthier by switching from cheeseburgers to regular hamburgers.
2. He will end Obama's love affair with France.
1. He's the Hero!