d シュディスター b (spaceinvaderdud) wrote in hetalia,
d シュディスター b

(Drama CD Translation) Hetalia Fantasia 3 Track 0 and Track 1 Translated!

Or the AwesomeRock Shooter terrorizes Hetalia Fantasia.

Also, the greeeeeennnnnNNN?! thing attacks. Methinks it's either Poland in a Hulk costume attacking Liet's boss or Shuma-Gorath attacking Liet's boss.

I was going to do my own video subs for Hetalia Fantasia 3 but I think I'll do that later since some people want to know what's goin' down in the CD now. Also, this might be a nice way to kill time while waiting for Hima-papa's next update.

Track 0 is the basic summary of what the heck happened last CD for those not in the know and sets up Track 1. The first half of Track 1 actually uses the script from the Hetalia Fantasia 2 omake post from a really long time ago. Except for a couple of word changes and a few sentences changing places, it's pretty much the same. The second half of Track 1 is new content and sets up the main plot of HF3. Pru- I mean a player named The Black and White Knight of the Dark Night is terrorizing and plundering all the players in Hetalia Fantasia and living the high PK life. America and Japan decide to check it out after receiving tons of mail about this player.

I can't link to the drama CD but I can tell you that if you press the tag with "drama" in it then it will lead to wonderful things. You have to be a member of the comm. to see this wonderful post though. You can also search YT for HF3 too. You'll have to type in Japanese though.

Track Listings + Time
1. Track 0 - Our Tale so Far (2:36)
2. Track 1 - Come One Come All Fantasia (8:30)
3. Track 2 - The Path That Leads to There (5:01)
4. Track 3 - Crisis Fantasia (11:53)
5. Track 4 - The Decisive Battle! (19:28)

Track 0 - Our Tale so Far

Italy: Here's a recap of what happened last time! After battling a ferocious dragon, I managed to obtain the legendary sword Pastina!
Thanks to the legendary sword, I was able to beat the pulp out of the main bad guy in the overlord's castle. After I beat him, we became friends
and then he said, "I shall give back the princess!" Then this totally gorgeous princess appeared. The princess and I then...

Germany: That's all wrong! All that happened was that you and Iceland got lost inside the game!

Italy: Oh ve~, you're right! Germany, are there any princesses that appear in this game?

Germany: If memory serves, there wasn't anything written in the instruction manual about a princess...
Good grief. If time allows, I'll contact them. We need to meet in game now!

Italy: Aye aye, captain!

Narrator: This is Hetalia Fantasia. It's a place where people from all around the world can gather
and venture in a beautiful world reminiscent of a fairy tale. To be frank though,
it's just an incredibly ordinary, not innovative in any way, run-of-the-mill fantasy MMO RPG.

Japan: With this large-scale game update, you are now able to adventure in the The Southern Island - Victoria.
Please do visit and experience the southern, tropical ambiance of Victoria.

America: And if you level up your character to level 50, you'll receive a "Moving Statue of Liberty" card that'll allow you to use your very own movable Lady Liberty!

Japan: Ah, you must mean the legendary skill that makes a person's personal computer emit a dreadful scratching noise?

America: The very one! It's a grand skill that intelligently ignores the computer's specs and pushes it to the limit!

Japan: And you are making that technique available for everyone to use? Everyone's personal computer is going to emit a scratching noise?

America: You betcha! Let's get scratching! DO IT!

Japan: I've stopped it. I have stopped this idea from coming to fruition during the planning stages. And with that, we humbly invite you to a most scratching
experience in The Southern Island.

America: That's right! Challenge the limit's of your computer, everyone!

China: Aiya! Are you guys trying to bully my computer?!

Everyone: Hetalia Fantasia 3!

Nar: In our last adventure, Italy just reunited with a leveled up Germany and Japan after getting lost.
Now in Eastern Europe, it seems that a new tale has just begun to take its course.

Track 1 - Come One, Come All Fantasia

Liet (Lithuania): Ah, I'm so, so busy. Just when I think the economy's recovered a little, I end up being this busy!
Ohh, I just want to relax and spend an entire day eating the pointy portions of Sakotis right now...

Liet's Boss: Hey! Make sure you send all these documents overseas too!

Liet: All right! Ugh, more work...
Maybe I should build a tower out of this mountain of documents just like that thing in France's home.

Liet's boss: Hurry it up!

Liet's Boss: Who are you, and what's with that greeEEENNN-

Liet: I'm so tired...

*phone rings*

Liet: I'm coming! Hold on, just wait! Ah!

*cartoon fall*

Liet: I knew I shouldn't have left that over there! Now the floor's covered in seaweed and chicken breasts.

Liet: Hello?

Poland: Gdzie są toalety (Where's the toilet)? What up, Liet?

Liet: Go down the hall from that telephone and the bathroom door is the one in the corner. What do you want today, and how do
you know when I'm at my busiest?

Poland: I knew that!

Liet: Then why is this the 36th time, today included, you've asked that question?

Poland: Lame-o! Man, I can't believe you don't know Polish greetings! It's, like, a Polish rule to ask where the toilet is
when you meet someone!

Liet: Isn't hello "dzień dobry"?

Poland: Well, I guess you can, like, say that, too.

Liet: ......Anyway, what do you want today?

Poland: Let's go dragon slaying and junk!

Liet: ...My boss is foaming at the mouth mad right now. I'm hanging up.

Poland: Wait!

Liet: No I won't.

Poland: Wait!

Liet: I already said no.

Poland: Dude, why not?! Oh my gosh, like how can you not want to slay a dragon?

Liet: It's impossible! If this was the 15th century, then sure! Right now there's no way I can do it with my back and hips like this!

Poland: Well I, like, got that totally covered! I'll just use my magic and do a little BAM and a little BOOM and some Popolpourri~ to help!

Liet: ...I'm hanging up.

Poland: Wait!

Liet: No.

Poland: Take that! I, like, cast a waiting spell on ya!

Liet: Ugh... Damn it, that's not fair!

Liet: In any case, I can't slay anything like a dragon!

Poland: Aw, you'll be all right even if you have, like, a bent back and disaster zone hair!
All you gotta do is turn on your computer, login, and then beep you press the button! Totally easy, right?

Liet: Huh? Ahhhh, so that's what you're talking about! You're talking about an online game.

Poland: Like, what did you think I was talking about?

Liet: I thought it was just another one of your lala land stories that I can't even comprehend.

Poland: I am so not that weird! Totally not!

Liet: ...Aren't you always like that?

Poland: So like, let's play this online game! Let's totally slay a dragon together.

Liet: Sorry. I can't even do something like that at the moment. I'll try and make some time this weekend at night, so your dragon slaying will
have to wait until then. I think I can probably handle doing something like that on a computer.

Poland: Gah! I wanna play now.

Liet: Not now. Now's the worst time for me to play. Understand?

Poland: Yeah, whatever. I'll do it myself. I'll totally slay a dragon by myself!

Liet: Huh? You'll be all right? You'll really be all right?

Poland: Of course!

Liet: Are you really, really sure that you'll be fine without me? Are you really sure you'll be fine?

Poland: I-I'll totally be fine!

Liet: Can you really turn on the computer, adjust the settings, connect to the internet, download the game, install said game,
and clear the tutorial all by yourself?

Poland: I can! I'll be fine!

Liet: Are you really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really,
really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY going to be all right?

Poland: ...I... I'll be fine...

Liet: Make sure you stop as soon as you think something weird's happening, all right?

Poland: I'll be peachy. You're too much of a worrywart, Liet. I should totally be the one worrying!
I'm, like, just gonna beam Germany's character a bit with a Polandball and junk. I can totally do that alone.

Liet: Ack, don't do that! Whatever you do, don't ever do that!

Poland: Well then, how about if I cover his character's body with a totally rad pink color if I meet him?

Liet: Ah... I guess that should be okay.

Poland: Awesome!

Liet: *sigh* I've got to go back to work now.

Poland: Remember: this weekend!

Liet: Yes, yes, I promise that I'll remember.

*hangs up*

Liet: *Sigh* As usual, I've had another bizarre conversation with Poland. Hm... Well actually, I'm kinda psyched up in a weird way now. I can
get through my work... I guess.

Liet: H-Huh... Don't tell me he's going to call me now just when I feel like I'm gonna collapse...

Liet: He wouldn't... would he?

Liet: I've got more work!

Nar: Let us now change scenes to the Hetalia Fantasia Developers' Room.

America: *Yawn* Man, when you just keep staring at a screen all the time, you just wanna smash something with a bat. I really wanna
pulverize a rugby ball for no reason right now.

Japan: It is such a slow, dreadful pace that it does make one rather envious. I myself see a computer at work and on my breaks a computer.

Ame: Well then, should I smash this computer to bits?

Japan: I know you are serious when you say that so please do not do it! I also expect that you will upload your destruction onto HetaTube, correct?

Ame: Hahahahaha! You really are a sharp one, ya know? Now I feel like smashing my computer into tiny bits after what you said!

Japan: Please don't do it! Err, and Mr. America... Would you please spare a moment and take a look at this?

Ame: Hm, what is it? Is there something wrong with a player?

Japan: Yes. This is the player I speak of. Ever since he has started playing Hetalia Fantasia, his level, his Heta (in-game money), and the items and equipment he currently possesses are unsurpassed. He is already the top player in the game, and he plays very frequently.

Ame: Don't these kinds of players appear often in online games though?

Japan: It goes a little beyond that, or I should rather say that he is behaving like a monster. I myself still do not have a
concrete grasp on this player, but there are various records about this person.

Ame: Behaving like a monster?

Japan: Indeed. He has a bird that rides on his shoulder, makes a clink clank sound because of all the items he has equipped,
and has the appearance of a knight. According to records, he appears as quick as the wind and uses a skill that nobody has ever
seen before, the lines he says when he is interacting with a player is cheesy, he also appears riding on a white horse claiming to do
do missionary work, thrashes the player, and then plunders the player's inventory and money. There is also an incident where a Russian player made him kneel and cry.
We are receiving a great number of mails about
this player as we speak. There are even topics appearing in the official forums about whether this player is a ghost or a robot.

Ame: That is a weird guy!

Ame: Hmm... Mm, you're right! When I look at the data, I see he hasn't been sleeping much, and I can't even imagine how he
managed to level up so fast in such a short time. Moreover, just look at the crazy number of players he's killed!
He's most certainly a monster! Yup, This guy is suspicious alright! Okay Japan, why don't we go and get in touch with this player right now?

Japan: Indeed. Let us go!

Ame: All right. He should be around here somewhere, right?


Japan: I see that that weapon is as violently huge as ever.

Ame: Big things are great things~!

Japan: He has arrived.

Ame: Hey, you there! Can we have a sec with you?

Prus- er ?: Is this night I witness reality or just a fabrication? It seems that a few unorthodox guests have appeared.

*?'s bird caws*

Japan: Pardon us. We are sorry to bother you, Mr. Black and White Knight of the Dark Night... but we would like to discuss
something wi-

*Knight unsheathes sword*

Knight: All who dare stand in my path, whoever they may be, shall be granted death.

Japan: P-please wait for a-


Japan: Please sto-


Japan: Ah!

Ame: Hey stop! We're the producers and developers of Hetalia Fantasia! This is your only warning! Stop now or I shoot!

Knight: The Dark Night engulfs all in its path. A feeble mortal such as yourself is a mere speck.

*bird caws*

Ame: Shit! Don't say that I didn't warn you. I'm gonna use the strongest gun in the game on you now!

Knight: Pitiful...

*bird caws*

*Knight smacks blast away*

Ame: Wha-?!

Knight: Now repent and return to the darkness, foolish soul.

Ame: Waah! Wh-what the hell is that?! I've never seen that skiiiiiiii-

Japan: Ah! Mr. Americaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Japan: Ah... defeated!

*bird caws*
Tags: -america, -china, -germany, -italy north (veneziano), -japan, -lithuania, -poland, -prussia, anime: drama cd, fan: translation

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  • Fanart Dump

    I was trying to get these update bit by bit, but LJ has been . . . arguing with me! I finally won: Title: Merry Christmas Character: England…

  • [FST] Nordic & Baltic FSTs

    It's been ages since I last posted anything here but I've been making tons of FSTs lately and thought I'd post them here (even if this place has been…

  • [Ad] Nordipalooza: A Nordic Fanwork Fest

    Nordipalooza is an easygoing and flexible prompt-based fest focused on exploring varied relationships between the Nordic characters. Previously,…