Characters/Pairings: Pretty much everyone eventually, but Mainly England, pairingS will be numerous.
Rating: This part is PG.
Summary: AU. Arthur wanted to be a Dragon Rider, however he failed the test of Manliness, so must become a Unicorn Guardian instead. Fortunately it turns out to be the most FUCK AWESOME job ever.
Warning: Copious amounts of unicorns and sparkles.
Oh the shame!
There at the feet of the Head Dragon master's throne, stood Arthur Kirkland, being laughed at and ridiculed by the Dragon Master and all the other boys in the village who'd passed the Rider test. How was he supposed to know that the man test meant you had to have sex with the prostitute? Arthur couldn't help the fact he was a gentleman. He couldn't help it, he gave her so much gold so she could go to the next village and start up a small business. Surely saving a young woman from the humiliation of prostitution WAS the manly thing to do?
Sadly Dragons just...don't like virgins apparently. So, he'd hopped onto the dragon and had been thrown off. And was now outed as a virgin loser. Of course Arthur had no idea that you were actually meant to shag the girl. All these years of studying magic and cleaning dragon shit, gone to waste because his mother (god rest her soul) told him to treat women with some respect.
The Dragon Master had stopped laughing now and he relaxed into his throne, “Ooh, Arty, Arty, Arty...” the tanned man chuckled as he brushed ferociously curly hair out his eyes, “You should of said you were still a virgin!” he bellowed and the other Riders roared back into full laughter.
“...I...I just thought that...we were...meant to respect...women...treat them like delicate flowers and...” Arthur saw Roma's cheeks puff with laughter, “...stuff.”
A hand rose from the crowd of newly graduated Riders, “Urm. Sir!”
“Oh Arthur, as much as I respect your mother-”
“God rest her soul” Every one in the room echoed.
“- she had some odd views on how us Riders should treat women.”
“Sir, please listen!” a soft voice called again.
Rome cleared his throat, “Arthur, I don't know what I'm meant to do with you now. I mean you can't stay here at the academy! Unless you want to become a Eunuch and serve in my harem.”
“No thank you sir.” Arthur responded frowning.
“SIR. PLEASE GOD. LISTEN TO ME.” the voice yelled softly.
“HEY ROMA.” A loud obnoxious voice called, everyone paid attention to Alfred, of course, “My brother would like to suggest that Arthur should go with the rest of the academy drop outs to Unicorn Coven!” There was a long pause, “I mean they leave in two hours, so he'd have to run.”
Arthur was already gone. Between being a Eunuch and Unicorns, he'd take Unicorns. He quickly stormed home and grabbed his important possessions. His books, his staff, his longbow and quiver, clothes and photographs of his family. And a very old stuffed bunny.
Then he ran to the nearest port to meet with the other rejects.
There he met three young men, whom he recognised from the academy, but by face only. “I-haven't-missed-the-ship-have-I?”
“Ve, No. Did you sleep in? I almost did.” An auburn haired boy smiled at him brightly, his twin – because they must be twins; they looked so much alike – wasn't smiling so brightly, he looked miserable and embarrassed. The ditzy twin noticed this, “Oh cheer up Lovi~ Papa said that Unicorns are more suited to boys like us!”
'Lovi' was not pleased by this. “But that Antonio bastard passed the test! Feli you just wouldn't understand!” he growled, scaring his twin.
Arthur decided the twins were too much for him, so he decided to talk to the rather mysterious looking figure with a pink flower in his hair.
“So...Unicorns huh?” Arthur failed at starting a conversation.
“Yeah.” nodded the young man with a smile. He had a feminine sort of look to him, brown hair in a little pony-tail, soft jaw. Oddly high voice for a boy of eighteen. “I like Unicorns too though. You know when they jump they leave a rainbow trail?”
“I'm Arthur Kirkland.”
“I'm El- Gary. Gary, my name is Gary.” Gary nodded quickly. “Wait...Kirkland? As in The Dread Pirate Kirkland?”
“My...mother's reputation precedes her.” Arthur smiled with fake humbleness.
“Ah, your mother raised you and your brothers while she ruled the West seas and defeated the Sea Witch! She's like, the poster girl for all Griffin Tamers in the South! She's my hero!” Gary smiled with enthusiasm.
Arthur nodded slowly and was glad that the boat glided into port.
“Willkommen! Rejects! Losers! And complete Virgins! IT'S TIME TO MEET YOUR DESTINY. BECAUSE UNICORNS ARE MUCH MORE AWESOME THAN DRAGONS.” Came a magically amplified voice, and their on the deck, hands on hips, stood the red eyed devil clear in the setting sunlight.
This was Gilbert Beilschmidt. A name the most fearsome Dragon Riders would come to rue in the following years. But right now, he was just fucking mental.